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賴皮孫子糊涂爺爺（英語(yǔ)小品）
演員:
p:
pirate-grandson.
m:
mother.
f:
father.
k:
king
-grandpa.
旁白:
there
are
4
members
in
a
family,
pirate,
a
7-year-old
naughty
boy.
his
mummy
is
a
beautiful
white-collar
worker.
his
dad,
andy
lau
is
a
famous
singer,
and
his
dear
grandpa,
king
is
a
kindly
old
man.
pirate
loves
his
grandpa
most,
because
king
is
very
spoiling
him.
he
hates
his
parents.
frankly
speaking,
he
is
afraid
of
them,
because
they
are
very
strict
with
him.
.
正�。�(p,k出場(chǎng))
p:
old
king,
open
the
tv,
i
want
to
see
tom
and
jerry.
i
love
that
mouse.
quick!
no
time!
i
can’t
wait
another
second.
k:
oh
dear!
i
nearly
forget
it.
don’t
worry,
i
open
it
right
now.
(作開(kāi)電視狀)
p:
ha
ha!
it’s
really
funny!
tom
is
so
good!
(作高興狀)
oh
no!
“the
end!”
where
is
tom?
i
hate
the
end!
(摔電視機(jī)，作極度氣憤狀)
old
king!?
(對(duì)k吼)
k：oh,
what
a
pity
dog!
(作左顧右盼狀)
your
parents
are
not
here
,and
we
can
change
another
one
,our
brave
pirate,
just
tell
me.
i’m
sure
your
demand
will
be
satisfied.
(作充滿自信狀)
p：really!
ok!
now,
let’s
watch
caribbean
pirates!
k:
humm,
no,
it’s
unfit
for
you……
(作猶豫狀)
p:
i
just
like
this
film,
old
king,
you
tell
lies.
you
don’t
keep
your
promise.（作氣憤欲泣狀）
k;
oh
yes,
i
play
it
for
you.
(作為難狀)
but
please
be
quite,
i’m
afraid
your
parents
wound
not
like
us
doing
these.
p:
don’t
tell
so
much!
i
have
been
an
adult
man
of
7
years
old.
i
promise
it
to
you.
(作自豪自信狀)
k：ok.
(作舒心，安慰狀)
p:
fight
him,
kill
him.
throw
these
bad
guys
into
the
sea……
(高聲喊)
k:
xu
……..
(作禁聲狀).
remember
your
promise,
young
adult
man.
p:
oh?
what
promise?
i
have
forgotten
it.
(作天經(jīng)地義狀)
k:
oh?!
you
are
right（作理解狀，因?yàn)閜irate一貫如此，出爾反爾）
p:
old
king.
i
give
you
an
honorable
mission.
(作自豪狀)
be
my
horse,
and
i
will
ride
on
your
back
,
let’s
help
these
people
in
dangerous
situation,
just
like
a
brave
knight.(作勇敢狀)
k:
what!
ride
on
my
back!
be
your
horse!!(作驚異狀)
p:
yes,
your
hearing
is
very
good,
any
question?
(作若無(wú)其事?tīng)?
k:
no,
no,
sound
a
good
idea!
very
good!
you
are
a
brave
pirate.
now
come
on
my
back.
(作無(wú)奈狀)
p:
(作高興狀，作躍上馬背狀)
hei!
let’s
go!
kill
all
those
bad
men.
quick!
run
quick!
.......
(意氣風(fēng)發(fā)狀)
（m,f攜手進(jìn)場(chǎng)）:
p:
oh,
my
god!
mummy,
daddy!
(a,d作慌忙狀，擋在電視機(jī)前)
m:
dad,
what
are
you
doing!?
naughty
pirate,
isn’t
your
trick!?
(作氣憤狀)
p:（作陽(yáng)痿狀）
mummy,
it’s
not
my
fault.
old
king
let
me
massage
his
back.
hei
hei
(作心虛狀，以掩飾內(nèi)心的恐懼)
m:
i
don’t
believe
it.
(作嚴(yán)肅狀)
dad,
isn’t
really
that?
(詢問(wèn)k)
k:
yes,
of
course,
i
can’t
image
a
child
only
5
year
old,
can
massage
so
good.
oh…….
(釋然狀，因?yàn)閳A了我的謊)
m:
really.
i
don’t
believe
the
litter
pirate
can
massage,
who
taught
him.
(作懷疑狀)
dear,
isn’t
you
?
f:
no,
i
haven’t,
but
i
decide
to
enjoy
his
massage
another
day,
do
you
think
so,
dear?
m:
yes,
really
a
good
suggestion.
（p，d作驚恐狀。a：發(fā)抖，d：揮汗)
（p擋著電視怕被m、f發(fā)現(xiàn)，k也為p作掩飾）
p:
mummy,
do
you
feel
a
little
cold?
k:
yes,
i
can
feel
it.
(邊揮汗邊說(shuō)冷)
m:
no,
it’s
summer.
really
hot,
do
you
catch
cold?
p:
no,
no,
just
my
feeling.
(更加發(fā)抖，一不小心被b看到了電視)
m:
pirate,
what’s
behind
you?
(疑問(wèn)狀)
p:
oh,
nothing,
nothing!
(作驚恐狀)
m:
move
away
.little
pirate!
(作氣憤狀)
p:
oh
no!
the
storm
will
come.
(捂臉作害怕?tīng)?
m:
caribbean
pirate!
what’s
a
bad
film!
little
pirate!?
(氣憤狀)
p:
mummy,
i
surrender.
(作投降狀)
m:
daddy
,this
film
is
unfit
for
him
,
it
is
full
of
killing，force
and
negative
passion,
and
it
will
let
him
become
bad
!
k:
i
know
that,
but
i
meat
to
let
him
watch
tom
and
jerry
and
he
like
it
very
much.
yes?
pirate?
(想轉(zhuǎn)移話題與pirate站在同一戰(zhàn)線)
p:
yes,
a
very
clever
mouse
and
a
stupid
cat.
(作博學(xué)狀)
m:
dad,
don’t
let
him
watch
so
much
tv,
it
wastes
a
lot
of
time,
and
it
is
bad
for
his
eyesight.
he
may
become
short-sighted.
(誠(chéng)懇狀)
k:
i
know
the
disadvantage.
but
tv
also
teaches
him
a
lot
of
things
which
he
can’t
learn
from
books,
such
as
survival
ability
and
communication
skills.
(中氣不足狀，因?yàn)槔碛刹怀浞?
m:
just
those
force,
fighting
and
cheat?
(置疑狀)
p:
mummy,
i
apologize
that
i
have
cheated
you.
(誠(chéng)懇狀)
i
won’t
do
that
next
time.
can
you
forgive
me
this
time,
mummy.
(做鬼臉,逗媽媽開(kāi)心)
m:
pick
up
trick.
it
doesn’t
work
this
time.
(義正言辭狀)
p:
mummy,
not
next
time,
ok?
(
作悲傷狀，以引起媽媽的同情)
(m不理p)
m:
dad.
i
know
you
love
little
pirate
very
much,
but
i
think
you
should
choose
the
right
way.
spoiling
is
not
true
love.
it’s
the
poison
in
honey.
(作嚴(yán)肅狀)
f:
yes,
dad,
pirate
has
a
lot
of
things
to
do.
we
should
be
his
guide,
not
to
carry
out
everything
he
said.
we
can
bring
him
to
the
library
to
see
what
books
attract
him
most.
we
can
help
him
to
develop
his
interest,
shape
his
personality,
and
improve
his
intelligence
and
so
on.
i
think
it’s
the
right
way
to
love
our
little
pirate.
do
you
think
so,
dear?
(很理智，明晰狀)
m:
it’s
just
what
i
want
to
say.
(贊同狀
)
f:
ok,
i
should
change
my
way
of
loving
him.
i
should
let
him
do
his
own
thing
and
be
his
guide.
(作徹悟狀)
p:
oh,
so
much
time
has
passed.
i
eager
to
go
to
wash
room,
i
can’t
bear
it.
(捂小腹，作難受狀)
k:
ok,
i
go
to
bring
the
paper,
don’t
worry!
i’ll
accompany
with
you.
(作習(xí)慣性狀，因?yàn)閜irate的大小便通常都由king主管)
m、f：no,
let
him
do
that
himself,
and
be
his
guide.
(同聲提醒k)
k:
oh,
yes,
little
pirate,
it’s
your
job
now,
nobody
can
help.
you
should
do
it
yourself.
(作揶揄狀)
p:
xi,
i
have
been
an
adult
man
of
7
years
old.
i
can
do
it.
(跨進(jìn)廁所，作藐視狀，有什么大不了，不就進(jìn)個(gè)廁所嗎)
m、f、k:
brave
pirate!
(作自豪狀，含有夸獎(jiǎng)意)
p:
oh,
my
god!
the
washroom
is
so
large
and
dark!
(害怕?tīng)�，因�(yàn)閺哪┮粋�(gè)人進(jìn)廁所)
m、f、k:
(all
暈倒)
——
the
end
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