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幸�；橐龅年P(guān)鍵元素
"The most important element of making a relationship work is teamwork," says Dr. Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About The Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage. "If you play tug of war with each other, you won't get anywhere. But as partners, you can accomplish anything." Everyone loves a good team-just look at how riled up we all are over the World Cup. Bring a little bit of that spirit to your relationship. It could be as simple as joining your local bowling league and making T-shirts that say "Team Smith." "Playing up that in-it-together mentality enhances the bonds of your relationship," adds Tessina. So when it comes time to huddle over a serious issue like finances, you'll be pumped to get on the same page.
"情感順利的最重要一條就是團(tuán)隊(duì)合作，"蒂娜·泰斯納(Tina Tessina)醫(yī)生說(shuō)道，她是一位博士，也是《錢(qián)、性和孩子：不要再為這三件可能毀壞婚姻的事而爭(zhēng)吵不休了》(Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About The Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage)一書(shū)的作者。"如果你們彼此開(kāi)戰(zhàn)，誰(shuí)都得不了便宜。但作為伙伴，你們能完成一切。"每個(gè)人都喜歡有一個(gè)好的團(tuán)隊(duì)--只要看看我們?cè)谑澜绫嫌卸嗝疮偪窬托辛恕８星殛P(guān)系中也可融入一點(diǎn)這樣的精神。這就與加入地方保齡隊(duì)和在短袖上寫(xiě)"史密斯隊(duì)"一樣簡(jiǎn)單。"展示那種團(tuán)結(jié)一致的心態(tài)能促進(jìn)情感的升華，"泰斯納說(shuō)道。所以當(dāng)你們需要解決類似財(cái)務(wù)等重要問(wèn)題時(shí)，最好還是統(tǒng)一戰(zhàn)線吧。
TREAT YOUR PARTNER LIKE A CHILD
像對(duì)待孩子一樣對(duì)待另一半
Yes, you read that right. Think about it: You know it's not enough to tell a child, "I love you. You're the greatest." You need to be specific and focus on the actual task they've accomplished, like, "You did a great job setting the table" or "You were so brave to tell your friend she hurt your feelings," says Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of Marriage Rules. That same logic applies to your husband-crystal-clear compliments go a lot further than vague verbal pats on the back. "Speaking to specifics warms things up and lets your partner know why you really admire him," helping to reinforce a real connection, adds Lerner.
是的，你沒(méi)看錯(cuò)。想想看：你知道只是告訴小孩子"我愛(ài)你，你最棒了"是不夠的。你需要具體一點(diǎn)，專門(mén)表?yè)P(yáng)他們實(shí)際完成的任務(wù)，比如，"桌子布置的真好"又或者"你真勇敢，告訴了你朋友她傷害了你的感情，"哈里特·勒納博士說(shuō)道，她是《婚姻法則》(Marriage Rules)一書(shū)的作者。這種邏輯對(duì)你的丈夫也同樣使用--清晰明了的稱贊比私底下模糊不清的贊美更加有效。"說(shuō)一些具體的事情可以營(yíng)造氣氛，也會(huì)讓另一半了解你為什么會(huì)傾慕于他，"這能加強(qiáng)你們之間的火花碰撞，勒納補(bǔ)充道。
TURN CHORES INTO FAVORS
把家務(wù)活變成趣事兒
In this Lean In world, you'd think we'd have figured out how to split household tasks 50-50. But there's still a good chance that's not the case in your home. "Sometimes women let things manifest and we become passive-aggressive," says Syrtash. "Men prefer a more direct approach, so just say, 'Okay, let's tackle this. Here's what needs to be done.'" Most men want to be part of the solution, so if your husband needs a little extra push, put a reward on the line.
在這樣一個(gè)全球都做志愿者的時(shí)代，你可能會(huì)想著去平分家務(wù)活兒。但很有可能你的家里并不是這個(gè)情況。"有時(shí)候女性會(huì)放大一些事情，我們就會(huì)被激怒，" Syrtash說(shuō)道。"男人更喜歡直接一點(diǎn)的方法，所以直接說(shuō)'好的，我們一起解決這個(gè)問(wèn)題吧�，F(xiàn)在需要做這些事。'"很多男人都想?yún)⑴c到解決問(wèn)題的過(guò)程中，所以如果你的丈夫需要?jiǎng)e人推一把，那你就給他提出一點(diǎn)獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)好了。
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