GRE考試作文點評：6分范文的構(gòu)架

首先是ISSUE部分評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：從最高6到0分。

　　SCORING GUIDE FOR PRESENT YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON AN ISSUE

　　GRE ESSAY SCORING GUIDE: PERSPECTIVE ON AN ISSUE SCORE

　　6 A 6 paper presents a cogent, well-articulated analysis of the complexities of the issue and demonstrates mastery of the elements of effective writing.

　　滿分作文的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：表現(xiàn)出對語言的把握(mastery)，對題目的深刻理解(complexities)，并且cogent.

　　A typical paper in this category

　　--develops a position(看到了嗎，a position，要選取一個角度) on the issue with insightful reasons and/or persuasive examples (看到OR了嗎，所以沒有例子也可以，如果你可以congent并且給出非常insightful的理由。)

　　--sustains a well-focused, well-organized discussion(關(guān)于文章結(jié)構(gòu)的要求)

　　--expresses ideas clearly and precisely

　　--uses language fluently, with varied sentence structure and effective vocabulary (關(guān)于語言的要求的，你對語言的mastery就應(yīng)該從這幾個方面體現(xiàn)出來)

　　--demonstrates superior facility with the conventions (grammar, usage, and mechanics) of standard written English but may have minor flaws(這個minor flaws是建立在不影響理解的基礎(chǔ)之上。)

　　1--Topic: Generalists vs. Specialists

　　Present your perspective on the issue below, using relevant reasons and/or examples to support your views.

　　"In our time, specialists of all kinds are highly overrated. We need more generalists -- people who can provide broad perspectives."

　　SAMPLE-1 (score:6)

　　In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, both positive and negative effects among persons in Western society call for a balance in which there are both specialists and generalists.

　　這一段非常干凈利索的引出來題目的theme: specialist and generalist這個就是general statement。一些朋友拿文章出來修改的時候我經(jīng)常發(fā)現(xiàn)沒有一個引子，一個general statement。缺少這個部分的文章是得不到高分的.

　　Specialists are necessary insgroupsto allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new information and knowledge that have come out of research and have been widely disseminated through mass global media.肯定了specialist的必要性。句式不錯，幾個定語從句套在一起。As the head of Pharmacology at my university once said (and I paraphrase):"I can only research what I do because there are so many who have come before me to whom I can turn for basic knowledge. It is only because of each of the narrowly focussed individuals at each step that a full and true understanding of the complexities of life can be had. Each person can only hold enough knowledge to add one small rung to the ladder, but together we can climb to the moon." This illustrates the point that our societies level of knowledge and technology is at a stage in which there simply must be specialists insgroupsfor our society to take advantage of the information available to us.

　　Simply put, without specialists, our society would find itself bogged down in the Sargasso sea of information overload. (Figurative expression。) While it was fine for early physicists to learn and understand the few laws and ideas that existed during their times, now, no one individual can possibly digest and assimilate all of the knowledge in any given area.

　　闡述的很清楚，語言也很簡單

　　On the other hand, Over specialization means narrow focii in which people can lose the larger picture.

　　這個句子一看就知道快要引出另外一個主角—generalist了，這個主題句是對過度專業(yè)化的一個否定。

　　No one can hope to understand the human body by only inspecting one's own toe-nails. What we learn from a narrow focus may be internally logically coherent but may be irrelevant or fallacious within the framework of a broader perspective. Further, if we inspect only our toe-nails, we may conclude that the whole body is hard and white. Useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions must come by sharing among specialists. Simply throwing out various discovieries means we have a pile of useless discoveries, it is only when one can make with them a mosaic that we can see that they may form a picture.

　　Not only may over-specialization be dangerous in terms of the truth, purity and cohesion of knowledge, but it can also serve to drown moral or universall issues.

　　出現(xiàn)了generalist開始展開并且將二者結(jié)合討論了Generalists and only generalists can see a broad enough picture to realize and introduce to the world the problems of the environment. With specialization, each person focusses on their research and their goals. Thus, industrialization, expansion, and new technologies are driven ahead. Meanwhile no individual can see the wholisitc view of our global existence in which true advancement may mean stifling individual specialists for the greater good of all.

　　Finally, over-specialization in a people's daily lives and jobs has meant personal and psychological compartmentalization. People are forcedsintospigeon holes early in life (at least by university) and must conciously attempt to consume external forms of stimuli and information insgroupsnot to be lost in their small and isolated universe. Not only does this make for narrowly focussed and generally pooprly-educated individuals, but it guarantees a sense of loss of community, often followed by a feeling of psychological displacement and personal dissatisfaction.

　　講完了對overspecialization社會的壞處開始講對individual引起的不好的地方了。用了METAPHOR，很形象

　　Without generalists, society becomes inward-looking and eventually inefficient. Without a society that recongnizes the impotance of braod- mindedness and fora for sharing generalities, individuals become isolated. Thus, while our form of society necessitates specialists, generalists are equally important. Specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field and know what the stakes are.

　　再次結(jié)合討論并且陳述二者結(jié)合起來的意義。

　　ETS打的分?jǐn)?shù)是6分，下面我們來看看ETS對這個文章的評語。

　　COMMENTARY

　　This is an outstanding response -- insightful, well reasoned, and highly effective in its use of language. The introductory paragraph announces the writer's position on the issue and provides the context within which the writer will develop that position: "In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement"

　　先肯定了文章的結(jié)構(gòu)和表述。well-reasoned highly effective

　　The argument itself has two parts. The first part presents a compelling case for specialization, primarily in the field of medicine. The second part presents an equally compelling, well-organized case against overspecialization based on three main reasons:

　　-- logical (narrowly trained specialists often fail to understand the whole)

　　-- moral (usually generalists understand what is needed for "the greater good")

　　-- personal (specializing/pigeonholing too early can be psychologically damaging)

　　The argument's careful line of reasoning is further strengthened by the skillful use of expert testimony (quotation from a prominent medical researcher) and vivid metaphor (to inspect only one's toenails is to ignore the whole body).

　　肯定了其中的引言以及比喻的運用。

　　It is not only the reasoning that distinguishes this essay. The language is precise and often figurative ("bogged down in a Sargasso sea of information overload," "a pile of useless discoveries," and "specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts, while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field"). The reader is constantly guided through the argument by transitional phrases and ideas that help organize the essay and move the argument forwa

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